New Beginnings

The school year for El Hogar begins in February. We have new students at that point in all three centers, but I would like to focus on the experience of the smallest boys as they come to live at El Hogar de Amor y Esperanza.

I am struck, first of all, by how small the boys appear. The youngest this year was six, but many of them look as if they are four. It actually takes a while for some of the boys to get accustomed to having regular meals and snacks every day. The first few weeks, the boys tend to wolf their food down as if to keep anyone else from taking it. There is also a tendency to try to hide and save some of the food for the future. As it gradually dawns on the boys that they eat, as one boy said in wonder, “every day”, the dining room becomes a bit more relaxed.

Some of our boys come from very disrupted situations, and this shows in their adjustment. We recently received several brothers whose family situation was not only poor, but also chaotic. These boys loved having food and clothing and a place to stay, but the idea of structure was quite foreign to them. Initially, there was a lot of testing and acting out.

Other boys come from families that have lots of love, but lack any financial resources. They tend to do well, but once in a while you will see them going off to cry because they miss their parent or their siblings. Our counselor, Maria Carmen, meets with the boys to try to determine what their issues might be.

During the first weeks there is a gradual shifting of boys within groups. We discover which boys bring out the best in each other, and who are the potential ”ring leaders” of less cooperative behavior. The boys are organized into “family” groups, which include the older, more experienced boys. This assures that everyone is getting individual attention. Sadly, however, there are usually some cases, for a variety of reasons, in which the boys do not stay with us.

So – we go from highs to lows. One boy was riding in the van recently, keeping up a steady stream of excited dialogue “I’ve never ridden in a van before! And I’ve never eaten in a restaurant before! And I’ve never been to school before!..…” But then there are also the tears of frustration, of homesickness, of anger, of recalling of past hurts.

We are not just a social service agency. We are intending to be a home, a transforming community of God’s love. Each boy comes with individual strengths, weaknesses and needs. It is our job to reach out to each in the best way possible, so that El Hogar is truly his home.

Rich Kunz,
Executive Director, El Hogar Projects